LibAnswers

Here are some jokes to help brighten your day:

1. What’s the best way to get the hospital after breaking your foot? With a toe truck.
2. What's a witch's favorite subject in school? Spelling.
3. What's the easiest building to lift? A lighthouse.
4. Did you hear about the archeologist that got fired? Now his career is in ruins.
5. Why do sweaters tend to hang out together? They're pretty close-knit.
6. Where do birds stay when they travel? Someplace cheep.
7. What kind of felines can bowl? Alley cats.
8. Did you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.
9. How do you make a robot angry? Keep pushing his buttons.
10. How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.
11. When's the best time to call your dentist? Tooth-hurty.
12. When does Friday come before Thursday? In the dictionary.
13. Why did the computer go to bed? It needed to crash.
14. What do you give the dentist of the year? A little plaque.
15. What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words.
16. What sits on the seabed and has anxiety? A nervous wreck.
17. Why did the computer catch cold? It left a window open.
18. Did you hear about the king that went to the dentist? He needed to get a crown.
19. Why do nurses like red crayons? Sometimes they have to draw blood.
20. Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? It lost its filling.
21. How do you get an astronaut’s baby to stop crying? You rocket.
22. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
23. What candy always makes the dean’s list? Smarties.
24. Why didn’t the sun go to college? It already had a million degrees.
25. Why is the library always the tallest part of any school? It has the most stories.
26. How do Minecraft players celebrate graduation? They throw a block party.
27. How did the scientist keep his breath fresh? With experi-mints.
28. If pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on? Scholar-ships.
29. Why did the music note drop out of college? Because it couldn’t pick a major.
30. How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it may take them more than five years to do it.
31. Why did the drum major get struck by lightning? Because she was a great conductor.
32. How many storm troopers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, because they are all on the dark side.
33. Why did the pharmacist walk on her tiptoes? She didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.+
34. Why did Goku get into another fight with Vegeta? Because he was Saiyan bad jokes.
35. I was going to tell a sodium joke, then I thought, “Na.”
36. Once I read a book about glue. I couldn’t put it down.
37. I told a bad chemistry joke once. I got no reaction.
38. I think college athletes should get paid to play sports. Except Tennessee. They’re Volunteers.